It’s Mostly About the Small Things
Making it to 80 is easy—at least, it’s easy for me to say now! It is often a mix of genes, lifestyle choices, and a fair amount of pure, dumb luck. For someone like me, who was never much of a planner, luck played a lead role.
I turned 81 in November 2025. Looking back from this vantage point, I’ve realized that if you are mindful enough to pay attention, you can learn to thrive by focusing on the small things. They are, after all, the only things that truly matter.
Here is what I have learned so far about the art of growing old gracefully.
1. It Comes Like a Thief in the Night
Old age approaches slowly, like a turtle in slow motion. At first, it’s just a rumor over the horizon. Then, you notice your hands look different, or a young person calls you "Sir" or "Ma’am," and you suddenly realize: the turtle has arrived. Acceptance is the first step toward peace.
2. Turn Toward the Sunlight
Life should unfold like a flower in spring, turning naturally toward the sun. We are more beautiful than we know, especially when we learn to simply be ourselves. For me, 80 has been about shedding the performance and becoming my true self.
3. Live in the Here and Now
There is no scientific instrument to measure exactly when "old age" begins. The only real measure of a life well-lived is how much time you spend in the "here and now." No one on their deathbed ever said, "I wish I’d spent more time working late or scrolling through social media."
4. Small Things Matter Most
Life is a collection of tiny moments. Don’t get so caught up in "big goals" that you miss the aroma of your favorite tea, your partner’s smile, or the feeling of the sun on your skin. The present moment is your only true possession.
5. Turn Off the Screens
We often complain about younger generations being "addicted" to technology, but seniors are just as prone to the scroll. Put down the smartphone. Stop trying to be like your grandchildren and start being the wise elder you were meant to be.
6. Live on the Sunny Side
Research by Yale psychologist Becca Levy shows that a positive attitude toward aging can add 7.5 years to your life. This mindset shift is more effective than exercise or not smoking. Science confirms what the soul already knows: Optimism is medicine.
7. Eat Right, Stay Fit, Stay Calm
Keep your diet balanced, don’t overindulge, and—most importantly—calm down. Don’t take life so seriously. Flow with the changes, help your neighbors, and floss. You’ll be fine.
8. The Art of Letting Go
Old age is about traveling lighter and lighter. We spend our lives accumulating, but we end by unburdening. Eventually, we let go of all possessions except for love and kindness. This allows us to exit fully alive and aware.
9. Write Your Own Screenplay
I think of my old age as a hero’s journey—an adventure movie where I am both the lead actor and the writer. Since it’s my movie, I choose to make it the time of my life, even during the challenges.
10. The Wisdom of Serenity
The Tao Te Ching reminds us: “Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.” Chase after money or approval, and your heart will never unclench. Do what you must, then let go. That is the ultimate secret to a peaceful life.
