Make Peace with the World: Embracing Your Emotions
For the longest time, we have been taught to be the "masters" of our emotions.
We learn how to "defeat" procrastination, how to "overcome" fear, and how to "eliminate" anxiety. We treat our inner world as a battlefield, viewing unpleasant or uncontrollable emotions as invading enemies. However, have you noticed? The harder you try to extinguish anxiety, the brighter it burns; the more you try to dispel sadness, the longer its shadow grows.
This chronic "internal conflict" is the very root of our exhaustion.
01. All Resistance is Internal Friction
Imagine you are standing waist-deep in a river, and a negative emotion is like a large beach ball floating on the surface. You detest it, so you use all your strength to push it under the water.
You succeed—the ball is out of sight. But to keep it there, you must keep your muscles tensed and exhaust your energy. The moment you relax, even slightly, the ball snaps back to the surface with even greater force, hitting you right in the jaw.
The first step to making peace with the world is to stop pushing that ball down. True inner freedom doesn't mean your life is devoid of pain or anger; it means that when you feel pain or anger, you no longer feel ashamed of it, nor do you blame yourself for having those feelings.
02. Acceptance is Allowing Everything to Be as It Is
Many people misunderstand the meaning of "acceptance," equating it with passive resignation or giving up.
In Zen philosophy, however, acceptance is more like "Observing Reality." It is like sitting by a window watching the rain. You don’t have to like the rain, nor do you need to stop it from falling; you simply acknowledge: "Oh, it is raining right now."
When you begin to accept your emotions, a miracle happens: when you stop resisting anxiety, it ceases to be a torture and becomes merely a vibration in the body. When you stop rejecting loneliness, it is no longer a desolate wilderness, but a quiet moment of solitude with yourself.
03. Practice Guide: How to Gently Cradle Your Emotions
If you find yourself in the midst of an emotional vortex, try these three Zenify practices:
Identify and Name: Instead of saying "I'm doomed" or "I'm terrible," try whispering to yourself: "I notice that a sense of 'frustration' is rising within me." By naming it precisely, you shift from being a "participant" in the emotion to being its "observer."
Give the Body an Outlet: Emotions always seek an exit through the body. Close your eyes and feel: where is the emotion staying? Is it a tightness in your chest or a knot in your stomach? Don't try to erase it. Simply breathe deeply, directing your breath toward that tension, and say gently: "I see you. You are allowed to be here."
Inquire About Its Intent: Every emotion is a letter. Anxiety might be a reminder of something you deeply cherish; anger might be protecting a boundary that has been crossed. Try to listen to what it has to say without judgment, rather than rushing to lock it outside.
04. Since There Is No Escape, Why Not Be Kind?
Our conflicts with the outside world are often reflections of the conflicts within ourselves. When you stop being harsh toward yourself—when you stop demanding that you always be emotionally stable and positive—you will find that the world before you becomes wider as well.
A crooked tree is no longer an eyesore; a late bus becomes an opportunity to observe the wildflowers by the road; and the person who once angered you reveals their own inner limitations and suffering.
Inner freedom is the realization that you don't need to be perfect to be worthy of love, and you don't need to conquer life to find peace.
Today’s Zenify Practice: Find a quiet moment, close your eyes, and catch a small emotion that is bothering you right now. Instead of pushing it away, try saying softly in your heart: "Hello, thank you for coming to remind me."
Feel if the tension loosens, just a tiny bit, in that very moment.
